here we go, on your not so merry... on your not so merry-go-round.
Those are lines from a song I wrote that just resonate and ring true on so many levels. Have you ever felt like you are on a carnival ride that you just cant get off of? Stuck in traffic, going no where and you just cant get to the exit? Welcome. Welcome to my life.
I wanted to blog about half assedness but realized thats what my last blog was about. I want to just rant and rave like a crazy person (that would make people think to themself "gawd psycho, get over it already!") but I frequently blog against such things. Not sure how to structure this one so, here. Here is me getting immensely irritated @ this half ass broken record. I also refer to it as "the department of redundancy department" in honor of how fucking annoyingly frequent this bullshit is.
I would like to reach out to those who just cant get their point across. To those who try, with loving intention, to reach out and get someone to meet them half way- or even a simple compromise, you are not alone. There are people out there who have a concept of doing their equal part. I know because I am one of them, I speak up, and boy oh boy do I hear about it. Because everyone else around me is so busy being diplomatic, co-dependent, passive, passive-aggressive, lazy, or just all together wrapped up in their own agenda, etc. when I speak my mind, I am perceived to be an abrasive, pompous, crabby bitch. Well the truth hurts fuckers.
I am not the only one who uses the bathroom, I am not the only parent in the house so why, when asking for a hand in cleaning up and/or toddler interaction, why do I get an attitude? Why is it that I can ask for help but not get it until its convenient for someone else. Why if I asked you to "clean the bathroom, please?" do I end up having to do it 2 days later? Am I your mom? No. But again, if I ask more than once Im being naggy. If I step in and just do it myself, Im met with "Jeez I said I was going to do it.... fine, you do it then" WHAT THE FUCK?!!? Yes, you said you were going to do it, but now Im doing it because, as with most things you say you are going to do, it never happened. Its like deja vu, all over again.
When you find yourself in this wicked cycle its so hard to even speak. You're damned if you do and damned if you dont... and all because you know that everyone should look around and see the same mess, the same problems and then work TOGETHER on a solution. Be warned: there is no safe, effective way of getting your point across. When dealing with people who repeatedly meet this issue you will most likely run into problems with delivery of said message, how said message is perceived, the tone of voice, body language, time of day, blood sugar levels, planetary alignment, and so on. There is never going to be a good, sweet way of speaking your mind to honestly say what you mean. There is rarely going to be a truth to be told, that needs to be heard, that isnt harsh or abrasive. My advice is: pick your battles wisely. Only fight the fights you are compelled to fight. The things you cant hold back, dont- but dont say so much that you lose the message. Say what you have to say regardless. Once you have, shut up.
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