what ive found is that when you find love during your pursuit of happiness you run a good chance of looking back and seeing how much life youve wasted. that may make it sound like im bitter, but im not. well ok somewhat, but i am in love with someone who i am happy spending the rest of my life with, so that should slightly negate various sour feelings towards relationships.
the reason i feel the way i do, though, is because PEOPLE DONT CHANGE. its our perception of people that changes. its our view that changes. and yes it may inspire us to make different choices or stick to our guns a bit more but is that really CHANGE? no! its simply an adjustment. the real you- the you that your ex just couldnt deal with any more- is still there! just like the ex you just couldnt deal with anymore is that same person, no matter the signs of new life. just like the new person in your life was at one point someone elses ex, which puts them in the running to be kind of relationship-ly challenged as well. you may say "His ex was such a bitch!" does that mean he was a perfect saint? doubt it. what im getting at is during your pursuit of happiness ignoring signs can send you off down the WRONG road. then you have farther to come than you did before.
the concepts of liberation and enlightenment only have staying power if you actually learn and retain the preceding lesson. if you dont allow yourself to totally digest your experience then it kinda ends up empty. empty like your stomach 30 minutes after eating chinese food. (dont get me wrong i love me some shrimp dumplings and sticky rice). i guess what im getting at is if you are going on a journey (literal or metaphorical) you must pack the proper supplies and sustenance to keep you going, and safe. life lessons are like food for thought and it seems these days the brain of the average 20-30 year old looks like an am/pm. full of junk food. packed with things in shiny wrappers that make you think you are full but give you no real nourishment. next thing you know you wake up empty thinking to yourself "i thought i had this whole thing figured out..."
slow down, take the time to read the ingredients, the potential side affects, the serving size, etc.
OR theres the binge and purgers. the ones who bump their heads enough for all of us to learn from. they gorge themselves with a strange mix of bullshit and valuable life lessons and then throw it all up, then do it all again and so on and so on. these people use logic and reason like salt and pepper.. more a flavor enhancement than a base to a good decision. too much of anything will make you sick in one way or another and they just dont get it. these are usually the same people who are so self absorbed that they get offended when you tell them they are self absorbed- as if?! so when a friend leaves one rocky relationship and gets so blinded that she ends up in another she would probably fall under this category. i know several people like this and it makes me sad. smart, articulate people who, behind closed doors become big huge blobs of just waste. these are the ones who come to you for advice and support then take your advice, chew it up, and spit it out ..and carry on about their business- all the while telling you what they think you want to hear. (or leaving out details that would show you just how full of shit they are) either way its sad. its not my journey that is altered, its yours. i was just trying to share my strikingly similar expiriences with you, kind of as a map or even street light at least. no sweat off my brow, good luck finding your way back to your original route.
to all in and out of relationships. beware. some people just dont get it.
.bmp)
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